We said “See You Later”
It has taken me awhile to get this post up. I needed some time to process. Igor left 5 days ago, but wow… it feels like an eternity ago. Strange. This is how it is when you grieve I suppose. (We’ll see how much chocolate I eat while I write this post…)
Here we are at the airport around 6:00 a.m. after getting up at 3:45 a.m.
(Poor Igor had NO Sleep… I’ll tell you about that in a minute here)
After saying goodbye to Sergiy last time, I knew this was not going to be easy. I was trying to prepare myself. It was different though. With Sergiy I felt like I was sending him to complete desolation. (Which his story is still being created, but he does have some hope now). With Igor it was so so sad, but in my heart I had faith that God would bring him back to us. The hardest part was not being able to tell him about our hopes of the future. We gave him some hope that perhaps he could return to us this summer for hosting, but we were not able to tell him anything about our desire to add him to our family permanently. (as per NHFC rules) I absolutely understand why these rules are in place, but it makes it so hard.
So we had had a few good cries together throughout our hosting, but the day before he left took the cake. Our whole family was a complete mess. Igor’s moods went from hyper-active to sobbing at the drop of a hat. I so wanted to be strong for him, but every time he cried, all I could do was cry as well. My 12 year-old said “Mom, I have seen you cry 2 times – when Sergiy left and when Igor left…” Packing his bags was terribly difficult. Our last family prayer time – I could not even get a prayer out. Watching our kids cry as they said one last good-bye and went to bed with tears – heart-wrenching…. little did I know what was to come.
So the kids went off to bed, and Igor and I talked and cried until about 11:45 p.m. Finally knowing we had to wake-up in a few short hours, I tucked him into bed, but all I could hear was sobbing… so I sat outside his room and prayed for awhile. Finally I went to bed around 12:20 – with a broken heart. I so just wanted to make everything better, but I had no way to do so. My alarm went off at 3:40 a.m. and as I walked into the hallway, all I could hear was sobbing… STILL…. The poor kid did not sleep at all. Finally about 1/3 of the way to the airport I was able to distract him with a game on my tablet. But as soon as we hit the airport garage the tears began to flow again. He has his sunglasses on in the picture above because he did not want his friends to see his tears.
Some of the last few words I heard from him (aside from “I love you” and “I will miss you”) were:”My brothers are so lucky they do not have to know the life I live” and “Tell me: Who will hug me when I am sad?” Heart-breaking does not even seem adequate to describe. And so part of me walked away – without turning back, (I am glad he didn’t, as that would have made it even harder) and boarded a plane that took him half-way across the world.
This kid is AMAZING… I really wish you could all meet him. For now you will just have to know him through photo’s and videos. (I have a few more to post sometime soon). He is so so smart, empathetic, funny, courteous, thankful, giving, intuitive, and so much more. My kids could learn a few things from him… He did tell them over and over the last week he was here to not take their parents for granted, and to help their mom.
I do not know really how to explain it, but within 5 minutes of meeting him, I knew he was ours. There was no back and forth about the possibility of adding him to our family. It took Matt a few days to feel the same, but it did not take much discussion at all… we just knew… The kids are all also 100% on board. We believe it is only God who could bring such uniformity and peace about the decision.
Unfortunately, due to some paperwork issues, he is not yet clear for International Adoption. We are praying everything can move at lightning speed, but for now we are told to expect a 12-14 month wait. That feels like an eternity, but we are taking it one day at a time.
If someone would have told us a year ago we would be on this journey, we would have laughed and said – most likely not. We were not seeking to add to our family, but sometimes God has other plans.
The most overwhelming thing right now is the financial aspect. In fact, if anything, it would be the thing to hold us back. However, we feel God has brought this child into our lives, and we can not let money terrify us. We can hear his quiet still voice saying “Trust Me to provide”. We have stepped out in faith for two hostings, and He has provided. We can only rest in the assurance that he will provide again. The amount needed is the part that feels like such a huge mountain. With two more hosting seasons and adoption fees we are looking at around $35K. We really wish we could just pay this ourselves and not need to ask for help… but unfortunately we need many helping hands. Perhaps this is a way for others to feel blessed in this journey – a way for others to bless this child.
I have not met many families who have adopted who were able to pay all expenses out of pocket. It seems the norm for most to need to reach out to others for help. Perhaps this is God’s way of growing our faith as we trust; and other’s faith as you allow this story to touch you and allow you to grow as you reach out to give. Perhaps you are not called to personally adopt, but we are all called to do something for orphans and widows – be it pray, give or provide hands-on care.
Yes, we probably have a year, but we would like to raise the funds as soon as possible. 1.) Because some fees do need to be paid right away. and 2.) This is a huge stress on us right now, and we would feel so much better knowing we are able to move forward.
If you feel led – here is what you can do:
1.) Share this with as many people as you can – If you gave $10 and found 5 friends to give $10 – we could quickly meet our goal!
2.) Anytime you shop on Amazon, please click on this link: http://www.menuplanningcentral.com/amazon and then place your order. This does not cost you anything extra, but it gives us 4-7% towards our adoption fund. Please bookmark this and use it all year! Share with your friends too – this is such a simple way to help.
3.) Here is our YouCaring Fundraiser page: http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/Bringing-Igor-Home-Forever/39937
Every donation big and small is much appreciated. Do not think what you can give is insignificant – it is not… And if you could share with others – that would be appreciated as well.
4.) If you would like to make a larger donation, it can be sent to our adoption agency and you can receive a tax deduction. Please contact me and I can give you the instructions.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than we can ask or imagine, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory. Ephesians 3:20-21